


The Damsels in Distress Club

by AuspexOfIlia



Series: Various Nintendo Crack [1]
Category: Dragalia Lost (Video Game), Fire Emblem Series, Super Mario & Related Fandoms, The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, Tea Parties, Waddle Dees - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:34:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26071969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuspexOfIlia/pseuds/AuspexOfIlia
Summary: Zethia makes some friends.
Series: Various Nintendo Crack [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2020472
Comments: 3
Kudos: 6





	The Damsels in Distress Club

**Author's Note:**

> I finally lived up to my username and wrote a Dragalia fic. Kind of.  
> When I was younger, I wanted to be the main star of everything. Over the years I learned that I'm much more of a support person, and these are some of the characters that helped me feel ok with it.  
> Remember, kindness is a strength in its own.

Zethia's eyelids fluttered open. Her head rested on something firm, the slightest bit of a cushion against wood. Based on that and a wall of velvet to her side, she figured she laid on some sort of lounge.

The auspex turned her head to the right. A few paces in front of her stood a woman, bent over with her hands on her knees. Her blonde hair fell down upon her poofy pink shoulders, yet not a strand ended up in her apricot-shaped face. Utop her head was a golden crown adorned with large, blue oval shaped jewels. A matching brooch sat upon her chest.

"Ah, you're awake!" The woman said. Her voice was high pitched, soft, and sweet, like that of a bird. If cake had a voice, hers would surely be it.

Another woman, no more than seventeen, stood to her side. She wore a pink top and tabard over a short sleeved white dress. Gold pauldrons sat on her shoulders. Her long golden hair parted in the middle to reveal a golden circlet. 

"I'm Princess Peach, and this is Princess Zelda." The sugary voiced woman gestured to the woman with the circlet. The circlet wearing woman-- Zelda-- waved her hand, small sparks of magic ruminating from it.

"Hello there,” Zethia waved back. This wasn't awkward at all.

"Feel free to make yourself comfortable!" Peach clapped her hands together. "Zelda, will you help me get the cake and some fresh tea?"

The two of them waltzed away. Zethia pushed herself upright. Her bare feet hit a plush rug. Now that she could see properly, she observed the room around her. Large windows lined the pink walls, magenta curtains drawn up to let the sunshine in. Delicate pots of flowers sat between each window, providing pops of orange, white, and green. In the center was a circular table draped with purple cloth. Three figures sat around it, mana radiating off of their bodies. They paused their tea party to look at the newcomer.

The one in the middle, a small girl with large green curls, raised her hand high and waved to Zethia. A large smile filled her face. "Oh! Hello! Would you like to join us?"

Saying no would be rude, so Zethia got up and walked over to the table. Four chairs sat empty, so she chose the one closest to her. On her left was a woman with curly lavender hair, and on her right sat another empty chair.

The girl with the massive green curls went ahead and spoke. "My name is Flayn. I am from Fodlan, and I like fish, flowers, and fairy tales."

"On my right," she gestured to a woman with hair the color of ice and skin the color of snow. "Is Ninian."

Ninian nodded her head towards Zethia. "Nice to meet you," she said, her voice tender and meek. "I'm from the land of Elibe. Well, kind of."

"And on my left," Flayn gestured to the woman with the lavender hair, "is Deirdre."

Deirdre smiled. "Hello. I'm from Verdane, in the continent of Jugdral."

Zethia blinked. Were those places real? Maybe this was a dream. That would explain half of it. 

"My name is Zethia, and I am the Auspex of Alberia. My father is the king, but I hold no claim to the throne. Instead I work with the clergy."

Flayn's face lit up. "My father and aunt work in the clergy at home!"

"Do they work with dragons?"

"In a way, yes."

"Ah, that must explain it."

The three of them raised their eyebrows. 

"The three of you radiate much more Mana than most humans," Zethia explained. "Usually I only see that much in dragons."

Flayn choked on her tea. "Well, about that--"

Peach came through the door carrying an adorable white cake. Strawberries sat in a circle around the edge, adding a nice pop of color. She laid it down on the center of the table. "I made it fresh as soon as I found out we were getting a new arrival!"

New… arrival?

Zethia watched as Zelda came in with a teapot. She poured each guest a nice steamy cup that smelled of apples. "What exactly do you mean by that? Where am I?"

Once she finished pouring the tea, Zelda sat down between Flayn and Ninian. "Ah, right. We should probably explain."

Peach sliced the cake into eight pieces and divvied them up. "This is the Damsels in Distress club. I know that probably sounds like an offensive title, but we've all been kidnapped at least once."

Oh. That was no help to anyone's self esteem. 

"Of course, Master Hand-- he's sort of, well, I don't really know how to explain it. Anyways, he summoned all of us here one day so we could make more friends like us."

"And he summoned me here?"

"Exactly."

Zethia cut into her cake with a fork. Vanilla with layers of vanilla cream. A classic. "But why? I know I'm a damsel in distress, but this is… well… odd. How do I even go home?"

Deirdre took a sip of her tea. "There's a warp pad behind the chaise lounge. That will take you home. As for the other question, we're not sure why he picks who he does. My daughter and nephew's wife also qualify for this club, yet they're not here."

Zethia did a double take. Deirdre had glowing skin, healthy hair, didn't look a day above 21, and she had a daughter?

Deirdre picked up on the unsaid question and laughed. "It's a long story involving time and dimensional travel. I haven't had her yet."

Oh. That was a relief.

"We are asking if we can expand the club ourselves and invite others ourselves," said Flayn. "It is nice and cozy now, but as we said, there are people we think should join us. All we'd need is a bigger table."

It was true-- after all, the room was large enough for plenty of furniture and other decorations. At the moment there was only the table, lounge, and the open chair to Zethia's right."

"Who does that seat belong to?" She asked.

Peach sat down in the chair between Deirdre and Flayn. "Ah, the empty seat? That belongs to Daisy! I believe she's outside right now playing--"

"FOUR!" 

A golf ball shattered the window to the left of the table. 

"Speak of the devil." Zelda said, her palm meeting her face. Deirdre flinched at the word "devil". Everyone else sighed.

The door to the room creaked open. A small mushroom headed creature squealed and rushed over to the broken window. A group of small orange creatures waddled in behind him.

"Aww man, Toadsworth is gonna kill us!" The mushroom man said, his voice shrill and grating.

Peach put down her tea cup. "No, it's alright! He'll probably figure out it was Daisy again. We'll talk to her about using the castle grounds as a golf course again."

Zethia's eyes went wide. Again? This was a common occurrence?

The mushroom man bowed-- well, attempted to bow. His small body was too chubby to lean over properly. He then ran back out the door, leaving the waddling creatures to sweep up the glass shards. 

"As you can see, it is more rowdy around here than one might expect," said Flayn. "Daisy adds energy to the group we would not have otherwise."

"The rest of us prefer to be in the support side of things," Ninian said. "I dance to motivate my friends. Deirdre and Flayn heal. Peach spies and relays information back to the heroes when she can."

Peach sighed. "For some reason, Bowser let me send mail and didn't bother to check what was in it. I got so many items to them before he figured it out."

Zethia giggled, then turned her head to Zelda. "What about you?" 

"Me? Oh, I tend to try to hold the bad guys off as long as possible, even if it means sacrificing myself." 

Zethia smiled and took a bite of her cake. Finally, someone understood. "I've done the same. I just wish my brother would understand that I'm trying to protect him."

"I'm sure he'll figure it out sooner or later," Ninian said. 

"I suppose." Zethia stared into her tea. "I just worry about how he's doing."

"He'll be ok! I'm sure he's strong," Flayn said. "He's lucky to have such a kind sister!"

"Yes, and he's got his friends by his side as well." Zethia raised her teacup to her lips, but put it down upon remembering something. "Ah, you all should meet Notte! She's our fairy friend, and she is absolutely adorable."

**Author's Note:**

> STAN NOTTE STAN NOTTE STAN NOTTE


End file.
